I’m thankful for my blog, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t hate it too. When all I want to do is to share moments of significance in my life, but it gradually becomes a page for some people to practise silent judgments.
It’s so hard to survive 18 years of age. Sighs
It’s dramatic.
A couple of people talked to me about it. They didn’t shower me with sympathy which I was grateful for, but instead told me to not ruin my own reputation for a girl like her. Who in the right mind would give up a 6 years worth of friendship, your best friend whom you meet so often, and share all her intimate secrets with, over a boy?
I let her continue with her antics and didn’t pursue the matter when it happened. Instead, I tried to accept the betrayal, took it as a costly life experience and tried to move on. It wasn’t so horrible since at the point of time, I do not entertain anymore feelings for the boy she betrayed me with, but what was heartbreaking is to be betrayed by someone you thought would never do so, even in your wildest dreams.
The last straw came when she went out with my friends behind my back when she herself promised that with her betrayal, she would leave this group of friends. Her promises are all lies, and she did it once again. Not satisfied with her new boyfriend and her new group of friends, she decided that it was fine to go out with them and even post the photos on social media.
I’ve every intention to expose her true self and all the innocence she has feigned. I do not have a single ounce of regret for what I did last night, when I realize what she’s been doing to me even after I let the matter rest. I tweeted her photo along with interesting captions. That brought her a little publicity, which I intended to amplify on my fb account, which apparently has a much bigger reach.
But the people I talk to convince me that by doing so, it might give me instant gratification, but it affects the way people view me too. And currently, there are people in my life, whose perspectives of me matter greatly.
I don’t wish to be blinded by my anger and do foolish things. It’s pointless explaining my stance to others but I’m no longer her friend and I don’t wish to know a thing about her. I’ll be the first to gloat at her misery and downfalls, so don’t mind me, and lead a good life if you don’t want that day to come.
I don’t wish for my past to affect my future, seeing how it has affected my present, significantly. If she can do this to me, she can do it to anybody else, what makes you think that you’ll be any different? I trusted in her innocence too, and look what happen to me. Don’t be a fool and follow in my path.
I honestly do not have the right state of health to handle this issue now, and she’s better pray hard that I die from liver complications soon so that she can do whatever she deems fit. I’ve never imagined that my worst nightmare could be the person I was closest with, how could I ever? I was happy, for a week or so, a coward to escape from my past and this betrayal, thankful for people who give me faith and strength that surrounded me. Feigning innocence? That’s the best you can get out of me.
You’ve a new boyfriend now, and his friends that you can contend with. Don’t be so greedy to ask for more. Don't act like you're really sorry for your actions, please. I texted you yesterday after I learnt about what you've done and you didn't even have the courage to reply me. It's only when he texted you to talk to me did you do so, and you even told him, Oh, but I don't have her number anymore. Didn't I just text you barely hours before he did? Another one of your clever disguises, haha
I’ve only decided to not expose you on fb because of the number of people who care about my reputation and don’t want me to stoop to your level. As I’ve said, there are really important people in my life right now whose opinions matter to me. Why do you want to block my friend Jieying on your online accounts if you’ve nothing pricking your conscience? Never for a second think that I’ve not decided to do so because I still care for our friendship.
The stupidest thing is wanting you back as a friend even after all your actions and even texting you to say that if you could retract your decision, I’d still accept you back in my life. But why do I have to do it, when the moment you told me to end this six years of friendship, you’ve obviously treated me as filth?
I hope I’ll never have to stain my blog with posts about you, because it utterly disgusts me. However, I’m aware that people are inclined to check an update about the incident so it’s my obligation to summon an explanation. This will be an interesting topic for your next gossip session. If you’re curious whether I’m playing the victim or the bad guy here, I can tell you upfront, I’d rather play the latter. These self-protective measures are to prevent someone like her from destroying my life again, and I’m not guilty of my actions, and the lack of herein.
For those who really care, I owe you a word of thanks. But for the others who are waiting for this post to judge me again, I hope you have a good time with it.
Have a good night.
xoxo
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