I'm exhausted but I thought I should update. I mean, I always thought I should. After all, people who read my blog actually reads me as a person, for all the genuineness you could get out of me too. I thought of blogging something beautiful and poetic, like a void prose to express my innermost feelings, but I've been going through late nights and project meetings and those tutorials in class, I just can't. There are a few guys tonight that I wish to comment on but people will judge me anyway and take me for a playgirl, so it's alright. I shall let my wandering mind whisper pretty thoughts of them. I'm tired. Please be patient for me again. PS: There's a boy I can't seem to draw away from. I wish he stops being so nice to me, but it breaks me anyway, so maybe. . . I don't know. . . I think I can never leave. 12.02 AM May your Wednesday be good. *A smile for you bunny* :)
I was lying in bed this morning, in my little black tank top
and huddled inside my yellow pasteled blanket, a pretty humongous one that
threatens to eat me up. I sniffed the blanket a little and it has a baby
powderish smell. Somewhere inside my growing lady body hides a little toddler. Grins
Last night, I discovered I have fever, again, and mentally I started to crumble. Doctors say I wasn’t
supposed to fall ill at this period of time but I did and we all know the
consequences. Mom came to my room for a little chat and I tried to convince her
that I’d rather be dead than ailing all the time and she brushed my words
aside.
Took a day off work since I was too weak for just about
anything else. Spent two days publicizing an event and then, surprised to receive a kind compliment. Always thought
that I am the kind of girl who goes unnoticed yet for one of the many first
times, creativity got a little attention. Thank you so very much.
Memories came back fast and without caution. It always
happens when I’m sick.
They tell me I’m the most naïve creature ever alive;
Ignorant, Lack of Judgment, Stubborn. She says Chloe it’s okay, there’s nothing wrong with being overprotective, learn
from it. Colleagues asked why I wasn’t attached at any point of time and I
didn’t wish to mention the hearts broken and break.
There are people who call themselves my close friends and I
don’t know what to make of it. They read me at the back of their hands: When I
stay away, there’s something wrong with our friendship. When I keep silent, I
am disapproving but still trying to be nice. When I stare into blank space,
you’ve lost me there and then . . .
Both of them say they know me and I’ll never do what I said
in spite. But why do I think that the only one who truly cares for me is
neither. After all, the one who ended up leaving me alone, and the one who took
advantage of my feelings, turned out to be them too.
Still having a bad cough, flu and a slowly subsiding fever.
The evening sky looks so beautiful.
I would like to dye my
hair a light shade of blond . . .
“You cut your hair short, then went for extensions. You dyed
your hair red, brown then back to black again. You rebonded your hair and went
to curl it. Do you actually know what you want?”
Actually had a conversation like this with a close friend. . .
I need to find a purpose to be alive and to keep going.
Well at least there’s something to look forward to in
December! I’ll be attending 小鬼黃鴻升夜王2012巡迴演唱會 - 新加坡
Alien Huang G•host Singapore
Concert 2012
I would have squealed and fangirled
madly on my blog if not for the fact that I'm sick hehehehe
很开心很开心很开心很开心很开心很开心很开心! :D
Thought about how I
fangirled in e乐大赏 before and the pinoy beside me wanted to slap me so bad 'cause I was jumping up and down trying to get a glimpse of him.
BUT WHEN I ATTEND HIS CONCERT IT’S OKAY BECAUSE EVERYBODY LOVES HIM SO IT’S
OKAY TO SCREAM AND SHED TEARS OF JOY #ULTIMATEFANGIRL ;)
That’s all for now.
Can’t believe I ended this post on a happy note!
7 weeks more! 49
days!
Natural red 'cause acnes medicine!! It's just that the spots aren't obvious in photos lah /:
Oh and yes, my poster design!!!! *flipshairbackandforth* lolol I know it isn't perfect but it puts me in a good mood with the sweet colors. I didn't do a very good job -_- I just found good fonts hmmmm.
Happy 'cause I get to blog for awhile tonight. Feeling a little bad to my blog since I haven't been blogging properly so leggo and write something legit!!! Caught Perks of being a wallflower with my bunny dajiejie hwee fen today! *blows horns and throws darts and chews chewing gums* The perks of being a t a d b i t t i n y: you get to have many big sisters as friends! Like what my new 16-year-old colleagues tell me "Good what! You old but look so young! Baby face ma!" LOLOL I'm not that old lah -_-
Perks of being a wallflower!
I must be one of the last people to catch this film . . . s o b u s y
There's this really amazing part about Charlie dating Sam's friend and he has to really find a way to break up with her before he goes mad.
AND HE FREAKING DID IT IN SUCH A RIDICULOUS WAY
Lolol I literally exclaimed "Oh my gosh!" in the theatre. HAHA NOW I MAKE PEOPLE CURIOUS ENOUGH TO WATCH (If they haven't that is /:) I'm not being a spoilsport here! You can read about it on wikipedia anyway haha
Yes, I've been spazzzzzing over the guy on the right for the entire day. (Though he's not the main lead) Ezra Miller ♥ Ezra Miller ♥ Ezra Miller ♥ Ezra Miller ♥ Ezra Miller ♥ Ezra Miller ♥ I'm really attracted to guys with a witty sense of humor! Oh, and his smile. *melts*
Ezra Miller ♥ Ezra Miller ♥ Ezra Miller ♥ Ezra Miller ♥ Ezra Miller ♥ Ezra Miller ♥
Ezra Miller ♥ Ezra Miller ♥ Ezra Miller ♥ Ezra Miller ♥ Ezra Miller ♥ Ezra Miller ♥
Ezra Miller ♥ Ezra Miller ♥ Ezra Miller ♥ Ezra Miller ♥ Ezra Miller ♥ Ezra Miller ♥
Ezra Miller ♥ Ezra Miller ♥ Ezra Miller ♥ Ezra Miller ♥ Ezra Miller ♥ Ezra Miller ♥
Alright, time for freedom of expression lol ***you can please skip this***
Last Friday was too horrid. It's the worst day since I started school. I don't wish to say anything more than the fact that I walked out of a meeting 'cause tears were overbearing. Technically, nobody hurt me or anything and the !@#$%^&* bad person who said cruel things was being unusually nice. It's really just me, the me who needed some time to think things through, and the me who has to let go of things.
Whoever in the right mind would actually cry infront of happy people? You got me there.
Headed to bedok for alcohol fix and I had to walk home for an hour 'cause I was penniless, phone's flat and no 3G. It was really scary walking home at 1 in the morning.
I did something kind today, nothing big, but I can still remember the lady's smile.
And then something good happened; I watched a beautiful movie
It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside
“He’s my whole world.”
“Don’t ever say that about anyone again. Not even me.”
Sam tapped her hand on the steering wheel. Patrick held his hand outside the car and made air waves. And I just sat between them. After the song finished, I said something.
“I feel infinite.”
#perksofbeingawallflower
Monday 22 October 2012
Haven't been blogging for awhile because life's been really hectic lately. There's work, publicity matters and school to deal with, not including my bipolar throes. I managed to camwhore awkwardly in the clubhouse today while my friends went to run for poly 50 lolol. I hope I can blog soon D:
Wednesday got off a little bumpy, but it works in my favor I guess. Arrived early for class 'cause I'd simply forgotten that today's a 8.30 class and not 8. Well, at least you even managed to get your hair properly curled, a close friend says. Sushi for friday and a trip for NYX cosmetics? Maybe. A lady came over to our seat and started going on about Christianity and giving endless probes to my friend and I. I believe in God, I read the gospel and I used to own a bible, till it got lost, at least. I don't see myself as a Christian since I'm not baptized but believing is faith, and faith gives me so much strength. I wish she would just disappear. Oh, and those drawings too. Danced with the children and they laughed at me for my stiff moves and then they say, Don't be sad sister, you look really cute. Funny how my love for dancing turns out to be a joke but no, not even a chance? At least I'm cute to the kids. Alright, forgiven. They wrote one another notes and those shy darlings blushed red reading them out. God knows how envious I am of those beautiful notes... Someone broke my heart, badly. I wanted to cry, but I guess I really shouldn't, at least not in front of him. That's only gonna make my pride sting and cower in shame. Cold, afraid and lonely. He says Just being direct so you won't fall any deeper for him but whatever he says are true, nothing but the truth. I don't blame him, I just thought he would be a little kinder with his words. Coffee, music, warm bath and a rainy evening.
It’s been a fine Tuesday, a little awkward today, but when
am I not, so let’s dismiss that. Arrived in class, late (and it’s just the second day of school holy shit). Shy bunny
because curly hair was commented on and yes, hair color, which is a little humorous
since I’ve had black hair for quite some time, maybe the brown strands are
impatiently waiting to be shown. Happy second day of the week, it makes me frightened
because my happiness never last, but
let’s have faith for now.
There’s this three fingers rule for skirts.
Strictly no shorts. No slippers. No sandals.
No bags on the table.
Like what? We're 12? -_- I wonder if I could keep to this new rule for long, or maybe
I’ll just fuck it and break rules like unconventional kids do, and then be subjected
to corrective work order ヽ( ´¬`)ノ
Confused. Really hate the way I am now because my heart
beckons me towards one direction but my mind knows very well that it’s bad and
insanely awful. Is it really time for me to draw the line? ):
Let's all have a really pleasant Wednesday ahead. So jealous of poly students who can wear shorts and pleated skirts to school.
