Stay Calm & Throw Pebbles.

This's a song for you bunnies, especially the really, really heartbroken ones.

"Today's been perfect, thank god."


This is a long overdue post, since bunny's stay-home wednesday. 

I'd been through hell and back for the past few days. Does this happen every other 80 days? Memories returned to destroy every last ounce of happiness I could show to the outer world. 

Tuesday almost became the most horrible day, ever. My soul's disappeared, fuck you soul, come back. I just feel so cold and lonely, lonely ok, and the world's a muted blur. 

Everyday.

Mac's trackpad has run into some problems, and I ought to get it checked. Next few days, or rather for the upcoming week, I'll be busy with camp's preparations. Taking it as my final event, I don't wanna screw it up, don't wanna, really. Had my class gathering today @ Bugis Seoul Garden. 19 of us turned up, and it makes this girl here a really, really happy bunny. I love seeing everybody being so bonded, be it class or sc, and though things haven't been working out the way I hope they will )= It's been a wonderful day. 


Today's a class + committee day. I'm happy, really.

Excerpt from Wednesday:

This grief crept into my mind, little by little. Wasn't this supposed to be a perfect day? Dreamt of you yesterday, and you were saying those things to hurt me, as usual, but everything just got so much worse in it. I was escaping from you, 'cause I couldn't bear to hear, 'cause tears are timid foxes. In my dream, there were others and there were ... phones, lol. I must've been really exhausted. But why, oh why, did I portray you as such a terrible man in my dream? Why am I so afraid of you?

I'm sorry, you must have hated my emotions, I hope you'd never read, 'cause paranoia's never concern, boy. Told H about it and he says I shouldn't even be thinking of you. No, not in my dreams.

For people who assert that I'm being too cool around people, it's not that I'm omitting my smiles on purpose, I do smile and joke around too, but usually, I really just don't know how to.  For people who assert that I'm naive and gullible and too Little Miss Nice around people, why don't you teach bunnies how to gobble up wolves? 

Everything was fine till I read this post that I neglected to upload a couple of days ago and tears welled up in the back of my mind, once again. It's ok, I'll be ok. 




xoxo