Faith

It's Friday 5:03am, who's not asleep?

What's sleep even? It has deluded me for long.

Such an ungodly hour to be blogging but heck, 

I miss blogging, so much. 

I've been an obedient child of God lately. 

Yet, I've no rights to, turning to religion for faith in throes of pain. 

But that's all I've left to keep sane. Let's be honest about this, it's the only thing I've left; this faith. 

I can't forgive, all I can promise myself is forget.

I wish I never have to see her again, 

hear from her again or receive any update about her.

I don't even know if I'll tear if she has a mishap. 

The people who hurt me, change me. They scarred me, for life. 

You learn who your true friends are in times of crisis.

You learn to be less trusting. You are more discerning. 

You are cautious of people. 

I can't feel care and concern.

I can't feel love.

I choose neither ok. Neither. 

I'm tired of people asking me 

"Who do you really like?" 

Not now, not now. Not now. 

I don't want to choose. 

I don't know. I don't know. 

So sleepy and tired and exhausted.

Reeling from the pain of the splitting stomach aches earlier.

Ever since I've a camera, I started to snap photos of everybody, everybody else, except for myself. 

Yes, self-esteem returned slightly, 

but time still hasn't. I'm still so busy. 

What a wordy post.

What an ungodly hour.

How do I climb out of bed in 3 hours time? 

Oh god, that's 20% of a submission. 

I don't know, does anybody even care?

Breaking you down like you're a domino. 

Lone is a scary thing. 

But people can't be with you forever and ever. 

Why do you have to appear this strong?

Nobody cares about you.