Day 4

Day 4

There are angels and demons in my head. The demons say that I don’t deserve the treatment you dealt me. “Hurt her the way she has hurt you.”

The angels told me to forgive you, to let go of this pain holding me down.

I cried again. I’m alive, but I’m far dead and gone.

In this corporate world, there isn’t room for escape. People can’t condone the fact that you’ve decided to hide from your fears. Little do you know they follow to you to your grave.

It’s time for me to return to reality.

These few days, I’ve discovered a place far away from the hustle and bustle of city life, where I can stay in peace at, and know that nobody will come here to hurt me. I hope the boy from those days is feeling alright, no matter what his problems are. I have to be the girl with a dream again.

Today, I went back to school again.

People didn't give me weird stares, I don't know if they're really trying to be sympathetic. I've to assume the role of a group leader tomorrow for camp. I haven't had a chance at it and honestly, I'm afraid. I don't want my grief to infect them. I want them to be happy bunnies. In a world away from my own, everybody should live happily.

Finally confided in mommy about the incident, not all, but at least, I finally found the courage to.  I spent this day after lessons at home with her, and avoided an important meeting.  I've decided to return to reality, but please, I need more time.  My faith is crumbling and I can't handle this pain anymore. 

One day, she will receive due retribution for what she has done to me. 

These are some quotations that I live by. If you're reading, I hope it'll be of use to you someday too. 

I haven't died of yet. 

I've become stronger, so much stronger. 

Some days, I may cry. Some days, I may laugh.

Some days, I may blame the world for bringing me down. 

But I'll survive. 

I've a dream. I still have hope in my life.

I still have people I can't let down. 

I'm stronger than ever now. 

xoxo