“I stepped onto the streets today, people weren’t moving, you aren’t even supposed to. Red lights shone in my face, the cars were whizzing past, but I did. With the stereo headphones in place, I took a chance and watched my life fade to nothingness before my presence. They stared in surprise, certain that this life would be over in an instant.
“Bump into me, please.”
I didn’t think of my family. All I ever wanted is to be dead and ridden of this pain that’s been haunting me for years. Sister’s friend committed suicide last night. He jumped to his death and before I left the house, she told me not to do anything silly, no matter how hurt I am.
But I did. I went ahead and wished for death.
I’m only 18, but there’s just so much pain I can handle from this life. I tore down my own mask. I think about mommy, and how I’ve always been her pride and joy since birth. The daughter who does well in school, has good track records for her co-curricular activities, the girl that shone. But I’ve stopped attending classes, I’m out here all alone, I can no longer do her proud, because I’ve become the daughter she never thought she’d have.
Forgive me for I’ve sinned, God. For all that I’ve feared, I’ve become suicidal.
I hope you feel happy for all that you've done. I'll wait to see how you're going to fall after hurting me this badly.
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