It's 2:38am in the morning and I'm feeling so unwell, what's with the newly developed sore throat and flu. Downloaded 4 episodes of drama but probably won't watch it tonight. Waking up early tmrw for mentoring so gotta turn in soon I guess. 5 days since I last posted so here goes. So I have stated in my previous post that I was away on a 3D2N Mentoring Leadership Camp at Pasir Ris Costa Sands Resort. Just came back today and had barely sufficient sleep, or so as my body protested. Been feeling the symptoms of pang and exhaustion. Apparently, some smartass in my school decided to pick a fight and got things so complicated, the entire bunch of sp students are banned from camping overnight in school. Thanks so much. Well, not complaining either. Paid $40 and had one of the more enjoyable (yes more, not most) bbq in awhile, air con with white sheets and comfy bed.
I was late for the camp, as usual. I almost thought that my butt would scald the seat because it took me frickin’ 26 stops to reach Pasir Ris. Darn, I forgot my earpiece or a good novel to accompany me through my ride. It was so stifling. Sometimes I’d wonder if lateness is a bug or an incurable symptom. But I thought better of it. I’m certain if I met somebody worthwhile, I might turn up early, for him, or some great meritorious cause. The thing is, I KNOW LATENESS IS BAD, but I NEED somebody to give me a VERY GOOD REASON WHY. Like my mom always says, I’m so stubborn and confined in my own mentality, I need somebody to make me wake the fucking idea up /: But I think I really shouldn’t be late for mentoring anymore now that I’m an sc. Being punctual = Being responsible and accountable. I can’t possibly host an event and make everybody wait for me to arrive.
Decided to give up a chance on CASS FOC 2012 for all the SC events. It’s not a decision that I would personally like to make, but because between both, SC is more important to me. I’d regret. I’ve always wanted to take part in CASS FOC 2012, it would really be a great opportunity for me to learn and experience.
Alright, since I’m back from camp, let’s talk about camp! Alright, so the mentoring people are the first people in sp to have seen my bare face HAHA LOL. That’s so interesting. I mean, girls who would usually whip themselves up in good shape before meeting the rest of the world forced to not be able to doll up prettily in camp, ouch, that’s agony. So initially I was really, really self-conscious but they told me that I don’t look much different. So phew! Haha, but everytime I thought of them seeing me beneath the makeup, it tickles me pink.
One thing I hate about camp is my entangled hair, it sucks. So when I came home, I immediately used conditioner on my dry, limp hair and now it’s so bouncy and full of life! Yes, my beautiful gorgeous hair is back. Well, at least it’s smoother now when I run through. 0k, enough of that, sounds like an advert.
We played “first impressions” and “murderer game” and both happen to be my favorite FAVORITES. There’s nothing distinctive about the “first impression” I give others, but the way that they describe to me is hilarious. One guy says that I look like a ‘hiao zhabor’ which means a bimbo I think? That’s what he said. (Not good in hokkien AT ALL, pardon me) Another girl says that she’s afraid of staring at me for more than 5 seconds for fear that I would walk over to give her a tight slap. Wow. Well, maybe I should smile more. :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
MRT game resulted in nice bruises and blood clots on my leg. LOL HAHA a photo of evidence. So apparently I was seated next to pei yong who’s so bony and so much thinner than me. Hence when he slapped my thighs, it’s like bone gnawing into it. God darn lol.
For now, I find it reasonably fine with the other subcommittee people. I’m not a person who’s comfortable to use fake hypocritical terms unless I really feel it. I’m fine with them, but they still don’t give me that liberated and casual feeling with the gusto people. To me, Gusto was my family. I feel very, very strongly for them. I don’t really like the idea that when Mentoring people want to know me better, they ask me about my cheerleading. To me, it’s two different things that I’d prefer to not mix together, or have in common at all. I have friends in these 2 ccas, but of which have very contrastive personalities. I’m assimilating myself in sc now, and hopefully one day I’d call my sc journey a worthwhile one because I went through it with my sc family.
Alright, topic diverted away from my camp, I’m ACTUALLY SO VERY EXTREMELY SUPER IMMENSELY interested to buy the latest Maybelline Falsies Effect Mascara!!! Haha maybe I’ll buy it tmrw!
Was watching this video from ALVINOLOGY: http://alvinology.com/2011/12/15/who-is-aaron-tan-nina-wantyouonly/
It's about this Aaron Tan guy threatening another 14 year old boy for supposedly ‘stealing’ in his term, his girlfriend. I was literally laughing throughout the video LOL. (It was supposed to be mind blasting scary I know Haha LOL) I find it hilarious, his awkward pauses and hesitations in the video, his “lim pei this, lim pei that” and oh, to top things off, HIS “PREASE LA, PREASEEEEEE” LOL! Please, and priest (prease), he doesn’t seem to get his tongue right.
Have always been worried about my future, yes future. Not the kind of worries like “Who will I end up with 20 years down the road”. Couldn’t deny that I myself would sometimes wonder who my first boyfriend would be. What worries me more is rather “What can I be in the future?” My course, Media and Communications, is something that I have chosen over Law diploma in TP. I appealed out of the law dip for a media course that I’m very enthusiastic about, and still is. I can’t envision myself as an apprentice lawyer, but I can, as an advertiser. I know that my strengths is that I’m very creative, not so much containing the vocal vibes, but yes, I do have the thing for novelty and I luxuriate in words (I think I wrote that in my facebook short description hee). I’m worried, really worried. I don’t feel that I’m particularly strong in any area. The jobs that interest me and I have more assurance in excelling would be like Magazine writers (column writers), DJ? And definitely, creative director and advertising executive. I can’t sit still in a confined area for long so journalism doesn’t really strike a chord with me. I’m just so afraid that I’d spend my life in a job that I don’t like just to keep my rice bowl. I find it difficult to explain my fears. Maybe because I’m a CW working style person, I live my life in planned schedules and detailed lineouts. Being so uncertain like this always scares me.
Alright, that’s about it. Really wanted to miss tmrw mentoring event but I was told that I REALLY SHOULDN’T DO THAT as an sc member. Well, so now I’m feeling the tension of the “Do’s and Don’ts”. Walked past alleys of alcohol and I didn’t stop to buy lol. But I’m not giving a fuck because I’m thirsty lately, and I’m so gonna have a couple of drinks at my girlfriends’ place. Drink till we drop, babes.
As I grow older, I learnt to be more forgiving. There are pretentious and ‘fake’ people around me, but I’ve learnt to see past that. To me, it’s survival instinct. No matter how bitchy or cruel their actions are, it’s the work of society, the ugliness that we are all coerced to face someday.
It's been a year. They say that if the affections go beyondst 4 months, I'm in love. I am, am I not? I'm in love with him. But I know too, that just because you entertain feelings for another, it doesn't equate that he/she has to feel the same way.
Just looked through the work of my member. Am impressed and astounded by the script itself. There’s still so much more for me to learn. But the memorizing part scares me.
That’s all for now, Bye. :> (Forgive my poor english if you spot them in this post, shall edit it another time.)
Torn between fear and something that resembled love, she wrestled with questions she never dreamed she would face: How could she leave? Then again, how could she stay?
– Jodi Picoult, Picture Perfect
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