Chosen Brian Jr. and Niko McKnight's “Marry Your Daughter” as the music video for this post because it’s such a sweet and romantic song. It’s a lovely piece that should be recommended if you have any relatives or close kin that are tying the knot in 2012. Hmm. Unquestionably a lovely song that I’ve put on replay time and again.

It’s ONE DAY away from THE FINAL DAY OF 2011!!!

Do you have any plans for “Countdown 2012” yet? If not, time to start cracking your skulls apart, and wrestle with the ideas. For me, I’d probably be lounging in town and basking in the festive mood. What’s not to like about 2012? Well, that’s if you’re turning 18 like SOMEBODY HERE! To tell the truth, simply the idea of my 18^th Birthday excites me. 

Ok, and it’s really just because of the booze and the partying.

I’ll be blogging about hair in this post. Why hair? It mightn’t have been very obvious (wait till I unearth more condemning curly hair photos) but I had my hair done. Hmm, wait I ought to rephrase that. It sounds like I had a wig up my scalp or something haha. I’d my hair rebonded. Honestly, I was unreceptive to the idea of straightening my hair back when I was 13 and girls around me have rebonded hair. With no offense intended, I personally find it distasteful and unappealing. It’s like: ‘Everybody on the streets have such long and unusually straight hair, MINE’D BETTER BE UNIQUE’. That sort of thinking y’know?

Was contemplating between digital perm and rebonding in recent months and the thought of doing dolly curls seems too risky for virgin hair, so I went for something safer.

Some photos for easy referencing below:

BEFORE REBONDING

Ok, bear with all the uglier past photos of me with unkempt hair )': 
BUT I WAS TRYING TO SHOW THE DISPARITY SO..WHATEVER :P

AFTER

SO FOR YOU GUYS/GIRLS OUT THERE WHO SAY "There's no difference whether you rebonded or not what!" 

NOW I HAVE PROVEN YOU WRONG. LOL

Anyhow, don’t be mistaken. There are still TONS OF GIRLS WITH REBONDED HAIR on the streets. So to make yourself avoid the nagging thought that ‘Aiya, I’m just another face in the crowd’, just mindfuck yourself with this mentality:

“It’s okay, 

my rebonded hair looks way nicer than that bitch next to me.”

LOL HAHA. That’s not a bad idea right!!! If you’re really going to be so inconsolable about being ‘common’, well probably a feasible thought :p It depends on the face shape though, really. And I think something to do with soft and hard rebonding, maybe?

Guess what, I’ve already prepared the message that I’m going to send out on 1^st January 2012 00:00! So don’t be touched if you’re amongst the 175 people in my contact list that I’m going to send to. IT’S NOT THAT I’M A KIASU SINGAPOREAN. I’ll be out that day and I don’t want to be half sober and typing “Hey you bootylicious babes, Happy New Year. Want some booze?” You know what I mean? To add on, my text has been well thought-out (short and sweet) so, YES JUST WAIT FOR IT.

Oops, been A LITTLE OCCUPIED so the space was stagnant for awhile. Shall not keep my viewers waiting too long the next time round. Will be back with a greater, more amazing post! Love you all so much. 

Mentoring Xmas cum New Year Gathering later! BYE.

(RUNNING MAN EPISODE 74 NOW. FINALLY POSTED FINISH :')

* Blog is best viewed with Safari. Font is slightly different with Firefox or Windows D:

Hi, how was Xmas for you guys? I hope it’s great. Firstly, though Christmas is already over, Michael Buble’s ‘All I Want For Christmas is You’ does fit the bill for this post, so WHATEVER LA, JUST LISTEN. Haha. Will be blogging about my Xmas shortly, but now I’d really like to exclaim, hmm yes EXCLAIM, about my newfound passion for blogging. Apparently, to make this page look neater, I kinda arranged things here and there, and actually forgot about my meals/sleep sometimes /: Now that things are in order, er not really, but hopefully much more organized? I'm feeling contented. Received feedback about what I should take note of with regard to this blog, so amendments will definitely be made to make my readers feel at ease! 

Honestly, I don’t really like the background now cus it’s distracting. But till better ideas come along yeah. Bear with it guys!!! Personally, I find that hidethedollsbell is a much better blog title than “serendipityveil” so I have to apologize that I changed the blog url again. And there’s the ‘DOLLS’ word in my link, what’s not to like! Hahaha.

Whoots. My Xmas Day out. I don’t really know what to say of it; sometimes words do deny me the power of description. So, as another clichéd saying goes, “A photo speaks a thousand words’. Or something similar? Lol. So I’ll let the photos do the talking.

Foam's party sadly over but the dogs stay back for a little awhile ... 

Xmas lights! 

Food @ The Asian Kitchen/ Wisma Atria 

Sorry to make you hungry :p

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Has been watching Scent of a Woman lately. That explains my puffy eyes at times because this show makes me tear A LOT. Especially when the male lead cried and told the girl how much he hates her for being so selfish to hide her illness and deliberately got close to him. She even has a bucket list of the ’20 things to do before I die’. Of course, he returns to her side. But then, that’s when the actual drama begins. )’:

Painted my nails pink (NO, NO PHOTOS FOR THAT LOL) because it’s hideously painted, and I just painted ‘for the sake of painting’. And trust me, my pink nails actually makes my mood much, much better. Because it’s bright? Hmm.

There was this really awkward moment when I was applying my lipstick and a totally hot guy walked in on me. And I’m just there like: Alright, I can die now.  Well, actually no I don’t have to. As long as I get on the frickin’ bus and get away from him. But the bus just wouldn’t come. And I caught a glimpse of him after I boarded the bus, ok la, not that cute after all. Hahaha. And I stared at him not because he’s hot, but he resembled a guy friend of mine! WITH THAT MOHAWK.

#When a girl is in love with somebody, she would do silly things, and cook up extremely absurd reasons but still be able to make them seem howsoever logical. In simpler, shorter terms, she’s unstoppable. One thing guys need to know, when a girl is in love with you, wherever she goes, whatever she sees, whoever she’s with, YOU’LL BE ON HER MIND. Of course she’ll have other things to deal with, but you’ll be on her mind. Whatever she sees, she’ll feel like getting for you. She’ll think of excuses to speak to you or see you. No matter how busy she is, she’ll make time for you. She’ll learn how to bake cookies for you! Girls love to cook for the guys they like. Sometimes, I envy the blessing of being a guy! Never even had anybody making anything for me as a gift ):

BUT I THINK GUYS SHOULD BE THE ONES DOING ALL THESE THINGS, NOT US GIRLS. LOL. SO PLEASE REFLECT!!!

So I got the new Facebook layout called Timeline and trust me, you’ve to get it, because like me, you’ll probably be laughing at your OLD SELF back in those days you started Facebook. (And I saw something back in 2009 that made me happy! HEHEHE. IT’S A BLOODY SECRET LOL) Now, I know why others say I have changed so much through the years. Well, my fat face is still there la. And I’m NOT ASHAMED of my younger self ok. People do change. I can only say I was much cuter back then! LOL.

& I can't believe I actually thought it was OKAY to type 'LURHHHHHHS', 'LAWLS', 'LORHHHHHS'. Or something like that BACK THEN. LOL! Because if I ever chance upon somebody typing like that now, I'm gonna flag the hell out of that person. LOL Good Ol' Days. Aptly Used? Hahaha. 

Have to start preparing the cards for my girlfriends of 4 years 12 months and 27 days. Going for Claris’s Birthday Party tmrw. Wow, can you believe it, the 7 of us are going to be friends for 5 years in a couple of days :’) I’m so touched and happy. How many true friends can you have in a life? What’s with all the fake hypocritical people I have to contend with some point in time of my life? I’m so fortunate and blessed to have them. 5 years! I don’t think I have friends that I have known and contacted with for such a long term :O

Having said that, best to get started soon. It's 2:17 as of now. 

Can’t wait for Running Man Episode 74 Christmas Specials to be out soon! You can leave me comments as to what you would like me to post about in future posts. More relevant ones perhaps? Till the next post. And I foresee myself updating this page very often till the school term begins again. I have to start coming up with plans for new year! 

MISS ME, WOULDN'T YOU? :')

Hi, it’s me again. Just in case you're wondering why the page wouldn't load or you've been redirected while viewing my blog, it was under construction because I actually changed the blogskin IF YOU'RE NOT BLIND YOU'LL NOTICE. Lol I spent 2 hours working on the layout so I can't help but say I'm so proud of myself. Damn, it definitely looks much better than before! :) Wanna be whimsical and type something like: Hi I’m here again to annoy you with my annoying eyebrows. But no, I don’t have eyebrows that twitch haha! Just watched a makeup tutorial and I must say that girl is good at it. So I conclude that there will be many more makeup that I wanna get to add on to my collections. ♥ ♥ ♥

It’s definitely not easy to look good, but once you get the hang of it, makeup appears to be nothing more than a normal routine, like how you ‘Eat, Sleep and Shit’. (Ok, I did mention this phrase in my previous blog post, SO UNCREATIVE haha) Not really a big fan of fake eyelashes, but after watching the tutorial, it really isn’t all that bad you know!! Won’t be putting it to school, annoys the fucking hell out of my life I swear. But falsies are a must-have for camwhoring. Big time camwhoring. Ok, so here's the video I'm inspired by for you girls who want to improve on your makeup. 

Recently, I read about people commenting on how this society is being such a superficial and realistic bitch. Well, it isn’t the first day we know this for a fact right? I’ve read that countless times in other forums. Personally, I feel that for a girl to look good, you must first desire to look good. If you’re lazy to invest the effort, then I’m sorry, you’ll be 

UGLY FOR L I F E. *Muahahaha* 
Does that make what I just typed seem scarier? Lol. DID IT ON PURPOSE TO SCARE YOU. To be pretty or not is your choice isn’t it? I, for one, definitely am not pretty. But I want to be pretty. So I work hard to look good. How honest! Being pretty boosts your confidence and carries out your self-esteem. All the bullshit about inner beauty being more important than external beauty, tell me that again. 

Oh, and that shit about looking pretty to impress guys, hello. Only desperate losers have that mentality. No! Why should we look pretty for the sake of guys? Come on, they are mere creatures LIKE US, who had apes for ancestors once, LIKE US. No offense to my male readers, smiles. Looking good = Confidence. And with confidence, you can accomplish MANY, MANY THINGS. Damn, this post is starting to get motivational. Wonder how many girls would be moved by my logic?

So, stop saying that you’re ugly and that life isn’t fair because you’re not pretty, 
HELL NO. Erase that thought.

These days, I’m more interested in dolling up and improving on my makeup or appearance than investing my time in love. I’ve derived at the conclusion that love is a high-risk, low returns investment. Unless you’re conscious that your investment in this MNC will guarantee payback, if not don’t fucking waste the time la. What for? So I guess looking good is more important than love to me now? Hahaha. Can’t believe that the once ‘Infatuated in a fairytale love story girl’ is now treating the supposed great and mighty love as a business deal. Guess the heartbreaks that I have encountered really makes me wake the fucking idea up. Really, if you spend your money on your makeup, you look good and makeup won’t criticize or hurt you! NO NEGATIVE EFFECTS OR DRAWBACKS. Ok, whatever shit, that’s my logic hehe. And no, I’m not adverse or opinionated against love.

Bad complexion, eye bags and Fatty Fat Face are all my nemesis. Sleeping late and not having enough fruits and vegetables are really bad habits! What’s with me watching my dramas and sacrificing sleep? But then again, I have to watch running men, Scent of a Woman (6 more episodes to go!) and Material Queen (5 more!) + my Hong Kong tvb drama leh. How to sleep!

A Blackberry Fans, the latest Blackberry Bold 9900 IS SO FUCKING ATTRACTIVE. Smexy I’d say. $518 for dataplan. Damn, if only I had saved up instead of splurging all my pay away on beauty accessories. It’s really looking good that hell of a phone!

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The other day I was with meowmeow Miao Si camwhoring away at her place. And yes, being my loyal reader, this is a shout out to you, HI THERE PRETTYAYEEEEEEEEEEE. She’s the first person that I make up on, and being the first complete attempt, heh, I’m proud of my skills.

Pay sucks, but I don’t feel like quitting because of the friends I have made here. Damn, maybe I should quit in a few months time because the little pay isn’t enough for me to fulfill my material needs.

Because people always tweet about those heartbroken and pathetic and sorrowful love, goddamn it, I’ll be indirectly affected too because I’ll start reminiscing about my own pitiful ghost of a past love history. AND I HATE BEING EMOFUCK. But I can’t help it, goddamn. It’s hard to find the right people to drink with because you can’t guarantee that they wouldn’t take advantage of you when you aren’t sober. Had a relatively bad experience when I was drunk, and that really scared me against drinking alone with guys no matter what kind of shitty mood I can be in. 

Why can’t I fucking be 18 soon? So what if drinking is bad, it actually helps to numb your senses for a while, I’d pay for that. I’m not a heavy alcoholic, so it’s okay. So what if I do really pick up smoking, I don’t really think it’s much of a big deal now.

It’s scary how much I have changed. But then again, I’ve read somewhere in a quote that people don’t change as they grow older, they become more clearly themselves. I’m really glad I’m not in JC, what’s with all those rules and regulations, I’d probably drop out of school in a few weeks time. I hate studying, really. Though the adrenaline rush mugging for exams kind of excite me at times. I attend lessons and strive to get good grades so as not to disappoint my mom. Frankly speaking, all the news writing and journalism isn’t consequential enough to make me learn new things; I’m really fortunate to have this gift of the language so I can do my own things at my own pace. Getting a good GPA is really to please my mom. And maybe, I do still harness that wish to work in a top-notch advertising firm.

Though I’m busy with school projects, mentoring upcoming BIG EVENT and work, I should still take some time off to visit my grandma. Didn’t see her for a couple of months, and every time my aunt asks of me to pay her a visit, I keep delaying the meet up. What kind of granddaughter am I? Sometimes the older generations do things that we the younger ones cannot comprehend, but we have to pay the price of their actions. That’s why I’ve tried to understand. But I guess, no matter how much we can try, broken people are better off mended by themselves. Couldn’t I say that for myself too?


People should really stop distrusting horoscopes though it's deemed to be howsoever jinxed and hoodwinked like fate. My good friends now, as I've realize, are cancer and capricorn respectively. I have no issues with cancer, of course. Back in secondary school, my bestest guy friends are both cancer and coincidentally born on the same day! How uncanny. Cancer guy friends are one of the nicest friends for taurus girls because they always give in to us and are so nice and jovial to have around. Capricorn males on the other hand, are a more problematic lot for me. Albeit the most compatible sign with me, Capricorn guys are such chauvinists lol! And they probably can't tolerate immaturity, tending to criticize and condemn many things. Maybe the Capricorn Y chromosomes that I have befriended are the extremes ): How unlucky can that be. I still prefer cancer! It's a foolproof friendship heh!

That’s all for now. And for people who have to read those emofuck stuffs (if I was careless enough to be influenced again), I’d apologize!

Thought of privatizing my blog, but then again, I wouldn’t know who to invite to read my posts. I’ve contended to the reality that some people are really just inquisitive, and since it’s a public space, just read lor. Thanks for your time anyway :p K, till the next time.

Centre parting or not? REALLY CAN'T MAKE UP MY MIND ):

A year is going to be over soon. It’s gonna sound clichéd but I will say it anyway: TIME PASSES QUICKLY. There you go. As I grow older, I realize time seems to pass even faster when we age. Small children eat, sleep and shit. That’s how easy life was. But as we mature and become adults, there’s just so many things in store for us. It’s a piteous joke how we used to whine about growing up but when we are adults, we can’t wait to reverse time. How mind boggling, us humans. 4 more days to Christmas, 10 more days to the last day of 2011. Hasn’t 2011 passed too quickly?

Usually, I’ll be lazing around in December, too much time on hand you see. But now, it’s so different. Take this week for e.g. I’m fully occupied except for Xmas. So whoever is reading this, I’m threatening you to take me out for Christmas! Haha lol. Kidding, keep reading arses.

As we grow older and mature, our perceptions do change. I have to, abashedly, admit that I used to say that I wouldn’t drink, smoke, club nor try cosmetics. But now I am no stranger to alcohol and I do make up, evidently. I’ll club when I’m 18, quite certain of that. Hmm, but smoking is still a no-bars restrictions for me. I don’t know, for now maybe? That leads me to this query: Who are we to say that our values and principles wouldn’t change over time? I’ll.

Nothing new to share, except that I have fallen ill, yet again. It wouldn’t be coincidental if you happen to chance upon my previous blog posts and jump to this conclusion that my health is quite vulnerable to changes in the weather and stress. I’m easily sick uh, this weak girl ):

I realize that I have a tendency to fall for guys whom I bicker with. Out of the 4 major crushes that I had back in my secondary school, all of which started out as guys I couldn’t stand the sight of initially, but all of them are just mysterious to me I guess. My curiosity got the better of me!

The crux of this post, (which sounds pretty lame so far right, I know) is about mentoring! I like my SC peeps, a lot. *Giving out hugs and kisses spontaneously* ♥ Maybe because it’s ‘Mentoring’, hence everybody seems to be so nice and jolly. On the other hand, I could attribute it to the fact that since we have gone through Ninja Camp 2011, SP BP Mentoring Anniversary Bonding Day 2011, SC Bonding Camp 2011 + FSC events, the 22 of us have grown to be closer to one another as the days passed by. 

If such close-knitted bonds continue, no matter if the 22 of us get into MC or delegated back to normal mentors, we wouldn’t begrudge anybody but in fact give one another the support that each one of us needs. We’ll still remain tight buddies. THAT’S IF WE CONTINUE TO BE THIS CLOSE! But for now, I feel happy with them. I’ve always had a thing for a “family” feeling. Geez, if they were to read this, they’d feel so touched I bet! Haha, but I’m not into this “Promote my blog so many people will read it” thing. My blog isn’t the kind of HAPPY 24/7 PARTY GIRL column la.

I am interested in MC. Very, in fact. I’m not gonna be discreet about it, nor conceal my intentions. (HAHA, I sound like I’m about to do something heinous and scary lol) Of course I want to be in MC. I relish leadership roles; I like to lead, and just thinking about an MC role makes me really excited.

Personally, I feel that “The period of Period” is agonizing not just because of the literal pain, but because we girls go through mood swings! I mean, like normally girls would throw princess tantrums to any hapless victim who annoys them on ‘those days’ isn’t it? But for me, I’ll have those mini/major breakdowns. Darn, it actually affects my nervous system more than having me holler at schmoozing suckers. I’ll feel so emo suddenly, and feel like crying in the middle of classes. And lately I’m getting more of those ‘Plug in my earpiece, listen to sad ballads and get myself into an emo mood’ kind of thing. This is a symptom lol. Tough to be a girl, lasses out there.


Oh, just a quick update here. I have an intention to change my current hairstyle. A photo below of the desired look by my 18th Birthday. 

Nothing consequential to update in this post, except for the fact that I’m here to keep it from growing stale. Will be camwhoring tomorrow, so more photos to be uploaded in due time. Can't wait for Running Man Hk Specials Part 2 to be out. Hee, such an addict. 

I'm afraid you'd label me a coward. But then again, I guess I am; I am.

Sin is like ink, it bleeds into a person, coloring, making you someone other than you used to be. And it’s indelible. Try as much as you want, you cannot get yourself back. -Jodi Picoult, Perfect Match

It's 2:38am in the morning and I'm feeling so unwell, what's with the newly developed sore throat and flu. Downloaded 4 episodes of drama but probably won't watch it tonight. Waking up early tmrw for mentoring so gotta turn in soon I guess. 5 days since I last posted so here goes. So I have stated in my previous post that I was away on a 3D2N Mentoring Leadership Camp at Pasir Ris Costa Sands Resort. Just came back today and had barely sufficient sleep, or so as my body protested. Been feeling the symptoms of pang and exhaustion. Apparently, some smartass in my school decided to pick a fight and got things so complicated, the entire bunch of sp students are banned from camping overnight in school. Thanks so much. Well, not complaining either. Paid $40 and had one of the more enjoyable (yes more, not most) bbq in awhile, air con with white sheets and comfy bed.

I was late for the camp, as usual. I almost thought that my butt would scald the seat because it took me frickin’ 26 stops to reach Pasir Ris. Darn, I forgot my earpiece or a good novel to accompany me through my ride. It was so stifling. Sometimes I’d wonder if lateness is a bug or an incurable symptom. But I thought better of it. I’m certain if I met somebody worthwhile, I might turn up early, for him, or some great meritorious cause. The thing is, I KNOW LATENESS IS BAD, but I NEED somebody to give me a VERY GOOD REASON WHY. Like my mom always says, I’m so stubborn and confined in my own mentality, I need somebody to make me wake the fucking idea up /: But I think I really shouldn’t be late for mentoring anymore now that I’m an sc. Being punctual = Being responsible and accountable. I can’t possibly host an event and make everybody wait for me to arrive.

Decided to give up a chance on CASS FOC 2012 for all the SC events. It’s not a decision that I would personally like to make, but because between both, SC is more important to me. I’d regret. I’ve always wanted to take part in CASS FOC 2012, it would really be a great opportunity for me to learn and experience.

 

Alright, since I’m back from camp, let’s talk about camp! Alright, so the mentoring people are the first people in sp to have seen my bare face HAHA LOL. That’s so interesting. I mean, girls who would usually whip themselves up in good shape before meeting the rest of the world forced to not be able to doll up prettily in camp, ouch, that’s agony. So initially I was really, really self-conscious but they told me that I don’t look much different. So phew! Haha, but everytime I thought of them seeing me beneath the makeup, it tickles me pink.

One thing I hate about camp is my entangled hair, it sucks. So when I came home, I immediately used conditioner on my dry, limp hair and now it’s so bouncy and full of life! Yes, my beautiful gorgeous hair is back. Well, at least it’s smoother now when I run through. 0k, enough of that, sounds like an advert.

We played “first impressions” and “murderer game” and both happen to be my favorite FAVORITES. There’s nothing distinctive about the “first impression” I give others, but the way that they describe to me is hilarious. One guy says that I look like a ‘hiao zhabor’ which means a bimbo I think? That’s what he said. (Not good in hokkien AT ALL, pardon me) Another girl says that she’s afraid of staring at me for more than 5 seconds for fear that I would walk over to give her a tight slap. Wow. Well, maybe I should smile more. :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

MRT game resulted in nice bruises and blood clots on my leg. LOL HAHA a photo of evidence. So apparently I was seated next to pei yong who’s so bony and so much thinner than me. Hence when he slapped my thighs, it’s like bone gnawing into it. God darn lol.

For now, I find it reasonably fine with the other subcommittee people. I’m not a person who’s comfortable to use fake hypocritical terms unless I really feel it. I’m fine with them, but they still don’t give me that liberated and casual feeling with the gusto people. To me, Gusto was my family. I feel very, very strongly for them. I don’t really like the idea that when Mentoring people want to know me better, they ask me about my cheerleading. To me, it’s two different things that I’d prefer to not mix together, or have in common at all. I have friends in these 2 ccas, but of which have very contrastive personalities. I’m assimilating myself in sc now, and hopefully one day I’d call my sc journey a worthwhile one because I went through it with my sc family.

Alright, topic diverted away from my camp, I’m ACTUALLY SO VERY EXTREMELY SUPER IMMENSELY interested to buy the latest Maybelline Falsies Effect Mascara!!! Haha maybe I’ll buy it tmrw!

Was watching this video from ALVINOLOGY: http://alvinology.com/2011/12/15/who-is-aaron-tan-nina-wantyouonly/

It's about this Aaron Tan guy threatening another 14 year old boy for supposedly ‘stealing’ in his term, his girlfriend. I was literally laughing throughout the video LOL. (It was supposed to be mind blasting scary I know Haha LOL) I find it hilarious, his awkward pauses and hesitations in the video, his “lim pei this, lim pei that” and oh, to top things off, HIS “PREASE LA, PREASEEEEEE” LOL! Please, and priest (prease), he doesn’t seem to get his tongue right.

Have always been worried about my future, yes future. Not the kind of worries like “Who will I end up with 20 years down the road”. Couldn’t deny that I myself would sometimes wonder who my first boyfriend would be. What worries me more is rather “What can I be in the future?” My course, Media and Communications, is something that I have chosen over Law diploma in TP. I appealed out of the law dip for a media course that I’m very enthusiastic about, and still is. I can’t envision myself as an apprentice lawyer, but I can, as an advertiser. I know that my strengths is that I’m very creative, not so much containing the vocal vibes, but yes, I do have the thing for novelty and I luxuriate in words (I think I wrote that in my facebook short description hee). I’m worried, really worried. I don’t feel that I’m particularly strong in any area. The jobs that interest me and I have more assurance in excelling would be like Magazine writers (column writers), DJ? And definitely, creative director and advertising executive. I can’t sit still in a confined area for long so journalism doesn’t really strike a chord with me. I’m just so afraid that I’d spend my life in a job that I don’t like just to keep my rice bowl. I find it difficult to explain my fears. Maybe because I’m a CW working style person, I live my life in planned schedules and detailed lineouts. Being so uncertain like this always scares me.

Alright, that’s about it. Really wanted to miss tmrw mentoring event but I was told that I REALLY SHOULDN’T DO THAT as an sc member. Well, so now I’m feeling the tension of the “Do’s and Don’ts”. Walked past alleys of alcohol and I didn’t stop to buy lol. But I’m not giving a fuck because I’m thirsty lately, and I’m so gonna have a couple of drinks at my girlfriends’ place. Drink till we drop, babes.

As I grow older, I learnt to be more forgiving. There are pretentious and ‘fake’ people around me, but I’ve learnt to see past that. To me, it’s survival instinct. No matter how bitchy or cruel their actions are, it’s the work of society, the ugliness that we are all coerced to face someday.

It's been a year. They say that if the affections go beyondst 4 months, I'm in love. I am, am I not? I'm in love with him. But I know too, that just because you entertain feelings for another, it doesn't equate that he/she has to feel the same way. 

Just looked through the work of my member. Am impressed and astounded by the script itself. There’s still so much more for me to learn. But the memorizing part scares me.

That’s all for now, Bye. :> (Forgive my poor english if you spot them in this post, shall edit it another time.)

Torn between fear and something that resembled love, she wrestled with questions she never dreamed she would face: How could she leave? Then again, how could she stay?

– Jodi Picoult, Picture Perfect