This is just me.

As a teenager, I never realized that the thing I was running from would still be here, waiting, no matter how far I am.

Mistakes are like the memories you hide in an attic: old love letters from relationships that tanked, photos of dead relatives, toys from a childhood you miss. Out of sight is out of mind, but somewhere deep inside you know they still exist. And you also know that you're avoiding them.

"Excerpt, Lone Wolf"

Had a good warm bath and a funny thought sprung to mind. What happens if my PR and Advertising tutors sat down for a talk?

Le PR Tutor: I’ve noticed that Chloe hasn’t been turning up for my classes. Has this been happening for others?

Le Advertising Tutor: Really? But she has attended every single one of my classes though.

Inserts thought: FULL OF WIN.

This I’ve to say, I specially make the effort to come for every Advertising class since its first lesson, seeing that my passion really lies in, yes, advertising. Come what may, I may break the trend. Who knows?

Tonight is one of those nights, when I feel so sad. There are tears welling in the back of my eyes and I’m just sitting here telling myself: No, one does not simply cry at 12 in the midnight for no good, concrete validated reason.

It’s a state of deranged stupidity when I tell myself, “If he were here, everything will be alright.” But no. We both know that he can’t make me feel better.

Sometimes, I really wish there’ll be somebody who truly cares and love me.  Someone who will stay up all night listening in to my insecurities and tell me I’ll be okay as long as he’s around.

“It’s okay to be a little gullible, helpless and fearful of life, I’ll never, never leave.”

“But it’s like daggers cutting you, slicing you, tearing you apart, but why don’t you ever scream? Why don’t you ever ask for help?”

‘Cause I’ve tried, and I’ve been badly wounded. They take care of you for a while, and then, they leave. They left, forgot about you, abandoned you. Slowly, you have forgotten how pain feels like, ‘cause it’s already been a part of you. You forget how’s it like to not be vulnerable, to not cry, but your alcohol rush kicks in, you drop the facade, but nobody hears a thing. Everybody’s deaf in your world.”

I’m drawn to his grief, ‘cause he makes me feel like there’s an identical out there, someone who breaks evenly. Let’s not fall in love and please, can you stay in my life, so I know I don’t have to heal, ‘cause I won’t try to make you heal either.

We won’t fall in love baby. 

Maybe I’ll say that to him someday. 

It's 1 in the morning, I have a long day ahead, what's with yoga classes from 5-7. God, grant me the faith to survive a good, long day.